Through The Murky Waters: I Need A Better Plan
by keenbeanz
Summary: Iris, goddess of rainbows and general badassery. As well as the owner and general manager of R.O.F.L , or as others knew it 'Rainbow Organic Foods & Lifestyle' but she liked R.O.F.L better, made her feel as if she was a young goddess again, before the trouble and annoyance of the Titan War, the first one that is.


**Hey guys so here is another one of these stories hope you all enjoy it, I had a hell of a lot of fun writing this and I hope it shows.**

 **Also Author is once again sorry for attempting humour.**

 **Requested by:** KhaalidaNyx

 **Pairing:** Percy/Iris

 **I in no way own PJatO or HoO**

He was what mortals would call hot, and what gods would call god like, despite his lack of godliness. He was simply a mortal who could tear at the heartstrings of any sentient being whether they be god or human, he had often been confused for a son of Aphrodite herself. He would always laugh those people off and claim that they were obviously mistaken, whilst hiding a delish crimson blush that screamed embarrassment and innocence.

An innocence many had wanted to take.

"I'm a son of Poseidon." He would say with a wry smile. "God of the seas."

But many doubted Poseidon's parentage, much to the god and his son's annoyance. Well they would doubt the parentage until they saw the two standing side by side with the same mischievous and rugged looks. At those moments no one would doubt who the younger male's godly parent was.

Gods and Goddesses were both jealous of him, and wanted him for their own selfish reason, however none wanted to risk a battle over a simple mortal, after all it was one thing to have mortals fighting for you on earth, and a completely different thing fighting other, in some cases more powerful deities who could and would send you to Tartarus at any given chance.

Instead rather, they had taken to simply watch the young man and fantasise of long walks along sandy shores and passionate nights rolling in between the sheets.

It was Aphrodite who took the most pleasure in the existence of the man, a goddess who lives and breathes off of powerful emotions practically swam in those that revolved around their hero.

"Who is the prettiest goddess?" she would often ask. The answer would always be unanimous, after all who could say that the most beautiful wasn't the goddess of beauty herself. This is why she had considered herself to be the only one worthy of the son of Poseidon.

Both of them born of the sea, both of them the better looking of their respective genders. Really it was a match made from Olympus, or rather a match made from a deluded and narcissistic goddess.

And so Aphrodite hatched a plan, it was great really except for the part where it generally took away the young man's freedom of choice, but they were simply details in the grand scheme of things.

Only the goddess wasn't planning on being beaten to the punch line by what she deemed as an unworthy opponent.

Iris, goddess of rainbows and general badassery.

As well as the owner and general manager of R.O.F.L , or as others knew it 'Rainbow Organic Foods & Lifestyle' but she liked R.O.F.L better, made her feel as if she was a young goddess again, before the trouble and annoyance of the Titan War, the first one that is.

Iris, while extremely fascinated by the young man refused on all counts that the goddess should take him away by force, at least that was the reason why she interfered in the goddesses plans if any one asked, it totally wasn't because she wanted to know everything about the young man and wanted the young man to know everything about her.

Perhaps they could even run the store together, and he could help her make muffins and then he would throw her against one of the benches and make furious love to her.

But that wasn't the main point it was more like she wanted to help him as thanks for saving their hides in those two previous wars.

So while Aphrodite was putting the finer parts of her well thought out plan together, Iris was already putting her plan in motion.

"Steady." She muttered, her tongue poking out the side of her mouth. "Steadyy." Front door of the cabin opens slowly, in the distance she can hear someone say their goodbyes to the young male, before he responds in kind.

It isn't until the door is shut closed, with the intended prey inside the small dusty cabin that Iris launches her attack, and by attack it's more like a frying pan to the top of the head.

"Ow!" Percy cries stumbling backwards, his hand rubbing his head, the other hand searching through his pocket looking for his weapon.

Admittedly Iris probably should have hit him harder, but she didn't want to hurt him too much.

"Sorry!" she cries out again, as the young man looks for his attacker, unable to find anyone, he stumbles forward only to be hit once again, this time hard enough to knock him out.

It takes her a total of twenty minutes to figure out the next stage of her plan, because she may or may not have planned the next stage, but either way she was taking this young man back to her store where he would be safe from the goddess of love and any other god or goddess that tried to get him.

By the time she arrives back to the store Fleecy is too busy sorting and disposing of all the old produce to even notice she had gone missing, that was fine with Iris, she knows her friend would disapprove of what she is doing.

Or rather what she has done.

Because whether or not she has abandoned the other gods she is still a god and is possessive as any other.

Plus she had done all that hard work to get him, so she wasn't going to give him away that easily.

She rests him on a small cot in the back room, well one of the back rooms, she really had expected her business to be busy 24/7. Unfortunately she was lucky to get a paying customer every two weeks.

He moans something out a frown creasing his brows. Her heart melts at the adorableness of his sleeping, knocked out, face.

Unfortunately for the goddess she has business to attend to, all those gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations aren't going to bake themselves after all.

Business continues on as usual for the dynamic duo of Organic food well that is until Fleecy has to go into one of the storage rooms to get more tie dye shirts.

"Iris?" Iris freezes beside the barrel of almonds. "Why do you have man passed out in the storage room?"

"Oh." She says turning around to face her friend. She frowns thoughtfully for a moment before a smile settles along her features, she pushes her glasses up along her nose. "He said he would help us out." She cries with a wide smile and open arms.

Fleecy smiles back in reply before she starts to ramble about improvements in running the store and how an extra set of hands will free up time for the duo.

"Fleecy?" Iris mumbles out somewhere in between the cloud nymphs ramblings on A new brand of organic citrus juice she has heard of and organising one of the bins filled with silky tie died shirts.

"Yes?" the Nymph asks finally stopping her rambling, honestly there was a moment when Iris didn't think the goddess would actually stop.

"Don't tell anyone about the man passed out in our storage room." As if on cue Percy lets out an unusually loud groan that sounds as if he might just throw up at any given moment. Iris wonders if she did actually hit him too hard.

She hopes he doesn't have some form of benign brain tumour that is only activated by a large knock to the head. But she figures surely Poseidon would have mentioned it or it might have already been activated due to the already large amount of hits to the head he has received in his life.

Fleecy gives the Rainbow goddess a genuine smile and nods her head. "Sure. Only if you promise not to tell anyone I ate a non-organic muffin the other day."

"What?" Iris questions. Fleecy gives the goddess a strange look.

"Nothing~" she sings walking away from the goddess before she can say anymore.

It takes Percy Jackson an approximate twenty-seven and a half minutes to wake up and he reacts in a way that Iris thinks, is a total overreaction.

"What is Hades name?" Percy screeches suddenly. Fleecy shoots Iris a concerned look, But Iris shoos it a way with an innocent smirk.

There is the movement of fabric and a door and suddenly an annoyed, pained and pissed off as Hades Demigod is standing in her store looking around in absolute horror. "You have got to be kidding me!" he grunts out rubbing the back of his head carefully.

Iris glances down at her frying pan hidden underneath the front counter, her hand catches it and she pulls it behind her back in case things get messy once again.

"Fleecy." Iris starts slowly tearing her eyes off the aggravated son of Poseidon with remorse.

"Huh." Fleecy replies a curious look on her face as she takes the young man in front of her in.

"Can you please excuse us?" Fleecy nods her head and slowly makes her way to another storage room holding dried fruits, although there aren't many dried fruits left at the moment.

It was strange that everyone would rather buy dried fruit when there were so many delicious muffins.

Iris can see Fleecy stick her head out from around the corner.

"Iris! Fleecy!" he calls out looking through the aisles carefully for any sign of the business owning pair.

Iris tries not to coo that he remembered their names and where they worked.

"What in the-"Iris emerges down one of the aisles, she really doesn't plan for it to look as dramatic as it does but it happens and she just goes with it.

Percy gets into a defensive position. She frowns and smiles innocently. "It's okay." She says pulling her hands out from behind her back she reveals the frying pan slowly. "It's just a frying pan." Percy rubs the back of his head uneasily.

"What?" He questions staring at the frying pan, distrust clear in his eyes. He shakes his head and looks back at the goddess with a confused frown.

Iris nearly 'Awws' out loud.

"No. What am I doing here?" he looks back around the store and Iris suddenly doesn't know what to tell him.

Okay so maybe she should have fully planned this whole plan out before she acts rashly and kidnaps that favourite son of Poseidon.

"Ah, I wanted some help?"

Percy rolls his eyes and Iris can tell he is annoyed at the prospect of once again doing something for the gods, poor man has already saved their butts more times than they can count. She kind of knows how he feels, except when he was kidnapped by a goddess she was kidnapping a goddess.

Long story but it ends with the birth of Olympus' favourite twin siblings.

"Listen" the man starts rolling his shoulders. Iris curses the young man for being so attractive. "I understand you gods need mortals to help with things," he says it with such disdain that Iris is close to dropping the frying pan and simply high fiving the son of Poseidon for understanding her feelings. "But can't you get someone else to help you? I'm a little over being used."

"Ahh." Crud, she knew she should have thought a better plan out; this whole 'hiding Percy from Aphrodite' scheme really isn't working.

The son of Poseidon gives her an expected look. Iris takes a look back down to her frying pan then back towards the son of Poseidon.

A plan forming in her head.

"Ahh." She stares at the pan for another long moment before giving Percy a sheepish look. "Sorry."

"Wha-" The frying pan hits him on the head again. She watches in a sick horror as he collapses to the ground again.

Fleecy rushes out from the storage room with a slight frown. "I thought you were against violence."

"No Comment." The goddess says in reply throwing the frying pan to the ground beside the man's body.

"So" Fleecy starts, she walks forward a little and kicks the son of Poseidon's shoes. "What now?" she looks back towards Iris who is still staring at the man's body as it lays motionless.

"Now we think of a plan."

 **I know the ending. Like what happens next? Up to your imagination ;)**


End file.
